Free Excerpt: Rules

Chapter 3: Burn

Vern escorted me to the door and shook my hand, giving me a Resistance handshake. He looked at me with sad eyes.

“I’m sorry, Jon,” he said, very quietly. “I think you were starting to get through to her. I’ll be in touch soon.” Then he said more loudly, possibly for any listening ears, “Remember your place as the husband of the Blessed Mother.”

“Thanks, Vern,” I said. “I guess that makes me the Blessed Cuckold,” I added, sarcastically. Vern chuckled at that. I left and headed home, angry and disgusted, not even caring if they had sabotaged the car. I had no more tears left in me for Sara. The girl I had known and loved since the first grade was now gone, buried too deeply to rescue, replaced by a brainwashed bitch who expected me to be her adoring and obedient slave.

I reviewed the audio of my meeting with her and forwarded it to Bill Jackson and Ron. Ron emailed me back, acknowledging receipt of the audio. He also promised to have an answer for me “soon.” I wrote back: “Make it fast. I don’t know how much time I have left.”

I sat down and ate a sandwich. There was a knock on the door as I finished. I looked through the peephole in the door and saw Judy, my mother-in-law. What did she want, I asked myself? Since this nightmare began, I had purposefully avoided her and Dan, my father-in-law. I looked and saw she was alone. I turned the volume up on the television and opened the door.

“May I come in?” she asked politely. I invited her inside and motioned for her to have a seat. “Do you have to have that on so loud?” she asked.

“Yes,” I said. “Just in case your investigators are listening. Would you like something to drink?”

“No, thanks, Jon,” she said. “What investigators are you talking about?”

“Please don’t insult my intelligence, Judy,” I said.

“All right, Jon,” she said. “I won’t.”

“What do you want?” I asked somewhat abruptly.

“I want to know why you were so mean to Sara,” she said. “She’s done nothing to deserve what you said. And she’s no slut.” I chuckled.

“Mean?” I asked. “And she’s no slut? Really? What would you call a woman who meets her husband with another man’s cum on her face and dripping down her legs? Hmm? You weren’t there, Judy. She reeked so badly of sex that I nearly threw up. Is that what you did to Dan? At least I told her the truth. That’s more than I ever got from any of you.” I could feel my face burning with rage as I spoke, and I sensed that Judy could tell I was angry and growing even angrier.

“You’re right, I wasn’t there when you two met,” she said. “And what happened during my evaluation is no business of yours. Or Dan’s for that matter. And I never lied to you. Not once.”

“Bullshit, Judy,” I snapped. She recoiled at that. I had never used such strong language in her presence before. “You lied by omission. All of you did. Yes, you, Sara, Andy – all of you. You kept things from me. Kept the truth from me. My dad sensed something was wrong and tried to warn me, but I was too blinded by my love for Sara to see it. If I knew three weeks ago what I know now, I never would’ve married her.”

“You can’t mean that,” she said.

“Oh yes, I do mean it,” I said.

“Jon, people are beginning to talk,” she said. “You haven’t been to church the last two Sundays, and people are starting to ask questions. Are you ashamed of Sara or something?”

“Frankly, Judy,” I said. “I don’t give a damn about what other people think. Am I ashamed? Honestly, yes. I’m ashamed, embarrassed, humiliated, and downright pissed off in general. In fact, I’ve never been so humiliated in my entire life. What you and your daughter have done to me is the worst thing any woman can do to a man they claim to love.”

“Jon, you don’t understand,” she said. “We were following the RULES.” I could almost hear the capital letters falling into place. She was in love with her damn rules; they allowed her to be a slut and a controlling bitch with no feelings or repercussions.

“Of course,” I said. “Do you have any idea how many atrocities have been committed by people claiming to follow the rules over the last couple of centuries? Do you?”

“Of course I do, Jon,” she said. “But it’s not like that at all.”

“Sure it is, Judy,” I said. “You and Sara and Andy all thought you could use the rules to make me a willing cuckold and a slave, trapped in a loveless and sexless marriage for the rest of my life, or at least as long as you allow me to live.

“None of you were honest about the ‘role’ I am to play; a husband in title only. And none of you gave a damn about me or my feelings. Why would you? I’m just an infidel, right? RIGHT?!” At that moment, I hated her with a passion, and I really didn’t care about propriety.

“You’ve got it all wrong, Jon,” she said, trembling at my outburst. “Sara’s a very special woman with a special place in the church. You should be honored to be next to her.”

“Honored?” I asked. “Honored to be a second-class person? Licking the boots of my mistress as she cuckolds me whenever she sees fit? Are you kidding me? You have a warped sense of honor, Judy. Tell me something and be honest for a change.”

“What, Jon?” she replied.

“Since your evaluation, have you ever had sex with anyone but Dan?” I asked. She thought for a moment before she spoke.

“As a member of the Women’s Auxiliary, I have provided sexual relief for some of the clergy on occasion, yes,” she said. “But it was all according to the rules. They have needs, too, you know.”

“I see,” I said. “Did Dan know about this at the time? And did he approve of it?”

“Of course, he knew,” she said. “I don’t know if he actually approved, but he never complained or tried to stop me. It wouldn’t have made a difference anyway; it was all in accordance with the rules.”

“Of course – your precious rules, again. The truth is, he was probably too scared of you and the church to try,” I said. “I think you know I’m right. What made you stop?”

“I reached my 40th birthday,” she said. I chuckled at that.

“So, the clerics get ready access to all the YOUNG pussy they want, while the husbands get crapped on,” I sneered. “You people are un-fucking-believable.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked, taken aback by my profanity. “That’s the way it has been from the beginning.”

“You just don’t get it. You present yourselves to the community as upright and moral with your so-called ‘divine rules,’ but you’re all just a bunch of control freaks, sluts and whore-mongers, aren’t you?” I asked rhetorically. “Talk about hypocrisy.” Her face turned red at that, but she didn’t lose her temper as I thought she might.

“Doesn’t that Baptist church your parents attend teach forgiveness?” Judy asked tersely.

“Yes, it does,” I answered.

“Well then,” she said. “Can’t you forgive Sara? Forgive me?”

“That church also teaches repentance,” I said. “And so far, I haven’t seen any sign of that from any of you.”

“There is nothing to repent of, Jon. It’s all in accordance with the Rules, the Divine Word.” She took a deep breath. “So, there’s no forgiveness in your heart for Sara?” I shook my head.

“Not at the moment,” I said. “It’s not just the sex, although that’s bad enough. It’s the lies and the disrespect as well. I was never given the opportunity to decide for myself whether this was the life I wanted with her. I was trapped; deceived, and you all conspired to do it! I was given no choice in the matter. And ‘I’m just following the rules’ doesn’t cut it with me anymore.”

“So what are you going to do?” Judy asked apprehensively. “A divorce would destroy Sara, and destroy what standing you have in the church.”

“Maybe she needs some destruction to feel what I’ve been going through since the wedding,” I said. “Honestly, I don’t know what I’m going to do, exactly. And even if I did, I sure as hell wouldn’t tell you.”

“She still loves you, Jon,” she said. “I know she does.”

“So she says,” I said. “And maybe she does a little bit, kinda like a mistress loves her pet dog. But she doesn’t love me enough to let me be her husband, in the truest sense of the word.”

“Don’t you still love her?” she asked, her question scathing in its intensity.

“I love the woman I knew when I was younger,” I said. “I don’t even know who or what she is right now. What I saw earlier today disgusted me to no end.”

“I see,” she said, standing up. “I’m sorry I wasted your time, Jon, but I had to try. I’m still your mother-in-law, even if you hate my guts.”

“I don’t hate your guts, Judy,” I said. “I just don’t approve of the choices you’ve made. I appreciate you coming by, though.”

“I take it I won’t be seeing you in church any time soon, then,” she said. I shook my head.

“No,” I said.

“Okay, Jon,” she said as she prepared to leave. “If it means anything to you, I’m sorry.”

“Thanks, Judy,” I said. “Tell Dan I said hello.” She nodded her head and left. I knew she would report back to Andy, but I didn’t care anymore. I finished my day as usual, with a beer and a cigarette on the balcony, wondering darkly if there was a church sniper out there with me in their sights.

…

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